[Older thought. March 30, 2006. Along the same lines of the last entry.)

I'd like to write an entry on the strength of accepting the bad things in life. I'd like to write down all my thoughts on self-discovery and finding in yourself the courage to be yourself by yourself. I'd like to tell everyone that things happen in life, and everything that happens in life leads to knowledge and, most of all, a learning of who you are. Mistakes will be made, but it all happens to shape you into the person you are meant to be.I want to write about strength as an emotion. You don't need to be afraid of being alone. You're always stronger than you think and eventually everything will settle down again and the clouds will clear and you will see that all along, you were surrounded by life in all shapes and forms.

There are people who discover who they want to be when they are with someone, and there are people who need to discover themselves on their own. I believe that the finding of strength in one's self coincides with self-discovery. There is something about life that produces an endless stream of doubts and questions and hesitation to live for fear of - well for fear of the world. The world is big, and the individual is nothing but a dust speck (thank you, Mr. Watterson), and to many, that is the scariest idea. How can you live with that overpowering sense of insignificance? You feel as if you need someone to feel needed - to feel special - to feel like more than just one more tiny organism.

That's where strength comes in. To find the questions, and accept the fact that there may not be any answers. Rainer Maria Rilke says:

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."

That's what I'm trying to say. Live. Live life for yourself - for no one else. We are individuals whether we feel we need someone else to give reason to our existence or not. Is there a greater truth? Is that what faith is for? Faith should be put in living. What else can you do but live? And if you're living, why not do it well? Live well, do good. Don't miss out on a moment. Make life nothing but a moment. Do not wallow in your own mind, open yourself to the world and live for you. Experience everything you can.

Discover yourself. Be strong. As cliche as it is, yes, life has it's ups and downs. But I believe that everything happens for a reason. Life is a teacher. To choose if one wants to accept the knowledge learned or to ignore it completely by living only in the mind and not the world, that is up to the individual.

I'd like to write about the self-truths that have become worldly issues. Wallace Stevens may be right when he said, "Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake." Maybe it's that easy. I'd like to write about the acceptance of being an individual and not a group or a pair or a couple. You can't live for someone else, even if you're with someone you care about. You can live your life with hopes that it will positively effect that person you love and that they will live with those same hopes. I am not trying to write about living with no one else in mind. Keep your heart and mind and beliefs open - learn from yourself, learn from others, but don't rely your happiness and your willingness to live a fulfilling life on someone else. You are the only one who can allow yourself to be happy or to regret or to live in any time other than now.

I'd like to write about something that would change someone else's life. I'd like to write about how "One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star," as G.K. Chesterton wrote. I'd like to write about how one day, you may encounter yourself in the most unexpected place and you may very well like what you see. I want to write about understanding yourself and finding strength to get through the toughest times in life. I want to write about waking up one day and finding that life isn't as bad as it was yesterday. I want to write about working and shaping yourself to who YOU want to be.

Don't let anyone break your soul. Don't let anyone crack your dignity and your self-respect. Be proud of who you are and who you will eventually become. Do not let weakness overcome you and do not ignore the light that peaks through your window every day. Live and grow and be strong.

I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should live. I'm suggesting - giving advice, most of which I will learn myself as I continue to wake each day and go to bed each night. These are just things I've been wanting to write about for awhile now.

And while I want to write about all these things, while I want to address every single topic and more and give you a clear picture of what they all mean to me in my life, I can't do that. Because you need to learn it for yourself because everyone's experiences are different. Communication is important but there is not one thing that stays the same. So learn this for yourself - maybe you'll have the same understandings that I have, but your way of getting to these subjects will most likely be completely different.

So while I want to write about all these things, I will not. Because I haven't finished living yet, and I still have a lot more to learn myself about all of what I've mentioned.

Take what you will of this. All I ask is that you live life as best as you can. Keep good in the world. Smile more. Open yourself up to happiness. Live.