0-31: Another loss for Civil Rights.

Me and My SunshineI could say it doesn’t matter. That we’ll get them next time. That this doesn’t mean anything in the long run. I could try and convince you that this was a mistake and people really don’t think this way. But I’d really just be trying to convince myself. My faith is wavering a little under these staggering statistics. 31 times gay marriage showed up on the ballot. And despite all the knocking on doors, all the blog posts, and rallies and pride events and positive media attention, all the love and support we received, 31 times, THIRTY-ONE times. We were shot down. Denied the rights that every human being should be born with. This isn’t about religion. Marriage is no longer conducted only within a church.  This isn’t about showing off wedding rings and picking out floral centerpieces. This isn’t about anybody else but us. Our rights to be with the ones we love. This is about people recognizing that as an accepted reality. This is about our government giving us the basic rights that other married couples have. It’s about commitment, and family, and dedication. It’s about sharing a bond and being able to proudly introduce a husband or wife. It’s about not being afraid. And sure, it’s about the tax benefits, and the employment benefits, and government benefits, and being able to see each other in the hospital, and buying a house together, and filing for adoption together, and being seen as a real, honest-to-goodness family, but most of all, most of all it’s about Love.

I could say that none of it really matters because Love isn’t something anyone can deny you. It won’t stop us from carrying on with our lives. It won’t cause us to break down and decide that it’s better off being straight than gay. I’m not going to run away and push my head in the sand and pretend I never liked girls. So it shouldn’t matter, right? I should just brush it off. But I can’t. It does matter. It matters to me and my girlfriend and every couple out there that is being treated like a second-class citizen. And what for? Why are we being treated with such disrespect? Like we’re not good enough to love? Because of bigotry. Because despite our freedom for and from religion, we are still being forced into a box controlled by what other people believe. We are not allowed to have our beliefs if they interfere with the majority. There always has to be sides, it seems, and our government thinks it’s fair to allow the majority to dictate how everyone should live their lives. Our country is slowly losing its identity as the Melting Pot. Conformity is the majority and if you don’t fit in that box, you’re shot down.

It does matter. Losing 31 out of 31 times matters. It’s a heavy weight on the heart. They whisper “Someday” but I’m sick of waiting for “Someday” to arrive. We deserve it now.

Me and My Sunshine

But patience is a virtue, and so is perseverance. We’ll keep fighting, keep talking, keep waving our rainbow flags in the air defiantly. We’ll hoot and holler in your face at every parade and every protest. I’ll keep living the life I’m living. I’ll keep waking up next to my girlfriend every morning and remembering every moment just why I fell in love with her. And I’ll keep questioning why. Why are we not equal? Why are we not seen as a real family? And I’ll keep looking for answers.

And I’ll keep telling myself it’s okay. We’ll get them next time.

Blogging for LGBT Families Day!

Today is the official Blogging for LGBT Families Day, put together by Dana of Mombian. In lieu of the recent events of allowing same-sex marriages in several states and the awful continuation of Prop 8 in California, I feel that this day is an important recognition of the love and commitment that so many families – gay, lesbian, or straight – have shared with the rest of the world.

I am a lesbian in a very loving relationship with my girlfriend of (almost) two years. While we don’t have a conventional family, we do have a lot of kids: Spunky, Zane, Akima, Merlin, Drake, Nate, Chunky, Morgan, Meetu, Sahara, Phoebe, Kendi, Galileo, and Aristotle. One dog, three cats, two ferrets, three rats, two leopard geckos, one ball python, and two lovely fish. No, no human children yet, but it is something that we have discussed and we both agree and want to have children. She wants twin boys, I want a little girl, but I know that no matter what gender we finally have, we will love him or her unconditionally. That is what a family is – a tight bond of love that flows without limits. To those who feel that they have the right to say that some people do not deserve that sort of family and that sort of love, I would like to them to think about what life would be like being denied it simply because someone had a different opinion.

The main argument against same-sex marriage is that homosexuality is a sin within the bible. While I’d like to see it in writing other than in the Old Testament, I’d also like to know when the USA (and the world) had become a place with just one religion. To deny a family to be complete with marriage simply because ONE religious text says it is not right is not only taking away what should be an equal right for all, but also takes away a person’s freedom of and from religion. Ash and I have a family that is open and loving and cares for all things and believes in many things. We don’t have a conventional family or a conventional relationship or a conventional view on life, but who can possibly say what is conventional in this day and age, especially in the melting pot that is America.

Families come in all shapes and sizes, colors and genders, traditions and cultures, and each deserves the respect and rights that all families are entitled to. Lesbian and gay families, and all untraditional families, have the same rights to happiness and love that everyone does, and until that fact is recognized for what it is, we shall continue to fight and celebrate days like today. That is why I am blogging today in honor of LGBT Families Day: I have one and I know many more and there is no shortage of love when it comes to these wonderful close-knit families.

Life is good and it just keeps getting better.

Blogging for LGBT Families

First Openly Gay Leader.

Thought I’d share this before I head off to bed. It’s a bit old, but definitely still worth mentioning.

The 66-year-old’s appointment as interim leader – until elections in May – is seen by many as a milestone for the gay and lesbian movement, correspondents say.

“I don’t think her sexual orientation matters. Our voters are pretty liberal, they don’t care about any of that,” Skuli Helgeson, Social Democratic Alliance’s general secretary, told the BBC.

From the article: “First Gay PM for Iceland Cabinet.” How awesome is this? It’s pretty awesome. The modern world’s first openly gay leader, they say. You know, the world just keeps getting brighter and brighter. It’s getting better, Universe. Don’t give up on Earth just yet. We’re finally starting to pull together.

A Male Homecoming Queen?!

Now this was something that made me smile this morning, despite being sick and feeling like my throat is trying to set itself on fire.

Real Drag Queen

And no, despite what you think, this wasn’t a Homecoming Drag Show or some gay-only contest. This was a real homecoming at George Mason University in Fairfax, VA. A Mr. Ryan Allen, a drag queen that goes by the name Reann Ballslee, entered the contest under his drag persona and beat out two other girls for the title. You can read the whole article here: “School Crowns Male Homecoming Queen.” How uplifting is that? It seems that diversity is encouraged at the school and a man dressed as a woman is nothing to blink an eye at. In fact, it’s celebrated!

“I was very touched by how Mason was so supportive through the whole process of allowing a boy in a dress to run for homecoming queen,” Allen said in a phone interview. “It says a lot about the campus that not only do we have diversity but we celebrate it.”

To those of you who think the whole thing is just silly, take a moment to understand. Being a drag king, I sometimes forget that my persona, Taylor Hardon, isn’t real. I take on all of his mannerisms on stage. There are times I wish I could pretend to be him in real life circumstances because he is so much more confident than me, but dressing in drag isn’t taken too seriously. People see it as just another way to perform. It’s more than that though. Apparently there are some at George Mason University who do understand that Reann Ballslee isn’t just a made up face, she’s a part of who Ryan Allen is and they’re celebrating that! They are celebrating and accepting all parts of one of their gay students.

I don’t know. I just feel good about it. I don’t think it’s silly, I think it’s just downright cool that a student body would pick someone like that. I wish more schools worked that way.

I feel better today. I’m going to go outside and help Ash brush the pups.

Celebrate the Love.


“Fidelity”: Don’t Divorce… from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Watch. Share. Sign the pledge. It’s not too late to fight. Ash and I may not be married (yet), but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t have an impact on us. It physically hurts to know that there are still so many people out there who don’t see us as equals, who don’t see as human beings who deserve the right to be happy and to be ourselves. I cannot fathom it. I cannot understand how the dark ages are still oppressing us.

It’ll change. I know it will. We won’t give up.

Marriage On the same note, it’s Blog for Freedom to Marry Week. It’s sad that it’s come to this – where we have to actually spread the word about equal rights for marriage. Shouldn’t it be common knowledge? Shouldn’t it just be a given? Hasn’t it been said over and over again that we as human beings are all equal? So why is it then that we aren’t allowed the same rights? Even though this specific week is called Blog for Freedom to Marry Week, it doesn’t start or end with this week. We have to keep talking about it and sharing our stories and refusing to hide behind the ugly plaid lumberjack shirts in the closet (doesn’t every lesbian have one?). While I’m not married now, someday Ash and I will tie the knot and I hope by that time, we’re doing it legally and with our government’s blessing (honestly, when did it become the government’s decision?).

It’s a big thing, this whole marriage deal. Should it be? For the couple yes. But it shouldn’t be a big deal, at least in the negative sense, when two men or two women say their vows to each other and kiss as husbands and wives. It should be celebrated. It’s love.

Shouldn’t love always be celebrated?

Lesbian War-Hero?

“Servicemen continue to be fierce believers in the idea that diversity equals strength, yet during the Clinton effort on gay troops most of us rejected analogies to racial integration. The homosexual threat to good order and discipline was behavioral, we argued, not physiological, and therefore unrelated.

It was a flawed argument.”

From the article “An About-Face on Gay Troups”. It is increasingly easier to see acceptance rising in the ranks of former opponents – more so now than any other time. Under the guidance of rainbow lovers recently added to the White House (including Obama himself), it looks promising that even those who were initially against gay rights and gays serving in the armed forces are starting to take another look at their original arguments. And acknowledging that perhaps gays do not join the army to check out their barrack buddies in the showers (because, you know, losing an arm or getting shot through the head is totally worth it just to get a glimpse of a man (not) in uniform).

Not that I have any plans at all on joining the troops in good ol’ Sam’s war. But it’s good to know that if I fall and break my head and suffer from amnesia and someone tells me I’m a purple heart war-hero lesbian, well, at least I can tell the world I’m a purple heart war-hero lesbian and not have to hide it.

Do you think we’re heading in the right direction?

There’s Always Hope.

In regards to this earlier post, I have re-evaluated my first instinctual response after a discussion with Ash’s mom on why Obama might have thought this was a good choice.

The fact is he is bringing together two long-opposing sides of a very popular argument. Maybe this is not a rash decision on his part, but instead a very VERY well-thought out step in the best direction. While being gay might make people think I’m a radical leftist, I am actually kind of conservative when it comes to a few political arguments. I think the extremists on both sides could learn from each other and a happy medium could eventually be found. With Obama inviting Rick Warren to speak at his inauguration and having such a strong gay community following him and supporting him, maybe the bigger picture he’s looking at involves a lot more hope than I would have guessed. Maybe his reasons behind this is actually an attempt to make each of the sides face each other on common ground and actually listen to what the other person has to say. In this way, maybe Warren will learn something about equality and the other side could learn something about putting faith into action. Or something like that (though I think they have definitely put faith into action, with a flair, of course). You know what I mean.

Maybe I’m just reaching for a good reason for all of this. Is this a reach? I have no clue. I can’t say it still doesn’t hurt though to have an anti-gay preacher who has compared gay marriages to incest and pedophilia speaking at our gay-friendly president’s inauguration.

But there’s always hope.

On Being a Nerd and Ass Grabbing.

“Not in the butt.” – Ash.

Yeah, and that’s not completely out of context. /sarcasm

Had an office Christmas party today and I stuffed myself full of chicken and chocolate and played Guitar Hero while co-workers (along with the president and dean of the college) cheered. It was a good time and I got paid. I love my job. I’m gonna miss it.

I’m currently updating the SBird Crew to WordPress 2.7 It’s duller than it sounds (I suppose that means I’m just a nerd because I think it actually does sound exciting). I really like the new look. It’ll take awhile to re-learn everything and figure it out, but the whole thing is so damn customizable, it’s hard to not like it. For once, change is good.

Since there aren’t a lot of great photos from the drag show, have one that I took of Ash right before the show. Her Boi Band name is Baby D, which is why I wrote it on the back of her shirt. Isn’t she adorable?

Baby D

Night all.

Social Commentary.

Sometimes I think to myself, “I’d make a really good mom.” And then other days I watch a kid screaming and hitting his mother and I growl to whoever will listen, “I would rip that kid’s head off.” So maybe I wouldn’t get World’s Best Mother

That has nothing to do with why I wanted to post. Instead, I want to point you over to Eleventh Avenue South to read up on the murder case of Latiesha Green, and what conservative Radio Host Chris Baker has been saying on the topic. Because, honestly, I cannot even fathom how he could place the blame where he does. Just does not compute in my brain. What do you think of it? Is it the media’s fault for the death of gays and transgendered people because they promote open-mindedness and acceptance? Just crazy.

I have to head out to my psychiatrist now. Maybe I can get him to up my meds. I hope so – for once, I actually think that would be a good idea. Ciao.

Kings of Drag.

My girlfriend and I are part of a drag troupe called Lumberdrag. Our last show of this year is on Saturday, so this week is going to be extremely hectic trying to get everything together, learn last minute lyrics, and just practice. Ash has been doing drag since 2004 and my first show was in 2005, and we’ve basically been doing acts together since then. It’s tons of fun and it’s a deeply rooted passion for both of us – we’re hoping that we can find a GOOD troupe once we get to Austin. Otherwise, we’ll just make our own.

Ash and I

I say GOOD, because Lumberdrag is probably the second greatest Drag Troupe in the entire U.S., second only to All the King’s Men from Boston. It’s sad that a tiny ass drag troupe from a college with a student body of 700 is better than some of the well-known troupes from large cities. And it’s true – so many people have said it and looking up drag kings on YouTube just cements it as fact. Pathetic, yes, but that’s why we really want to find a GOOD troupe or just make our own.

Me

Anyway, the show is on Saturday and we’re putting last minute touches on the songs we’re doing and trying to get the dances done for the boi band. Oh yes, the Boi Band: P*A*H. The Boi Band has been the highlight of the show since it’s creation in 2003. Ash has been in the Boi Band since the second show, and I got asked to join the band for my third show and I’ve been in it ever since. Ash is the baby face/bad ass of the group, and I’m simply known as the Pretty Boi (I’m famous for my hair, you see). Interesting fact: the drag show is a huge factor in getting Ash and I together; we grew closer because of it. Thank you, Drag Show!

Boi Band

Anyway, I’m hoping I can get my blogging done in between practices, but we’ll have to see. It’s going to be busy busy. Draven (Ash) and Kid Taylor (Me) are going to rock this town!

Other than drag stuff, I got dragged to a baby shower today by my boss. “If I have to go, you have to go,” he said and pulled me into the room by my arm. It was okay though, and there was yummy food and good company. I like my co-workers. They’re a fun group.

Right, back to practice.