n7day

Today is N7 Day and if you know me or have stuck around this blog in the couple of years, you’ll know this is something of a personal holiday for me (and many others I’m sure). I’ve written about N7 Day before, how I was led to Mass Effect and what the game and Commander Shepard mean to me. This year, Mass Effect made a pretty important impact on my life in a very big way.

I mentioned it in passing, but I haven’t actually written about the fact that I got married early this year. My husband is an incredibly patient and geeky man who also loves Mass Effect and all things Bioware (he’s the one who got me back into playing SWTOR again). Because we are both huge nerds, we got married on May 4th (Star Wars Day!) and had a small but geeky wedding with friends. Our themes? His was Star Wars (he wore a Star Wars tie, had his lightsaber on hand, and his cake was a life-size BB-8 cake that had sounds and a working lighter – I’ll post his side of the wedding later). Mine, of course, was Mass Effect and it was all over the place. Here are some of my favorite highlights (photos courtesy of our AMAZING and TALENTED photographer Mary Lynn).

mass effect wedding 01

mass effect wedding 02

Mass Effect Wedding 03

mass effect wedding 04

mass effect wedding 05

Mass Effect Wedding 07

Mass Effect Wedding 08

Mass Effect helped turn my life around in a time when I wasn’t doing the best. I was struggling to find purpose. Jake and I bonded over our love for video games and he is one of those people who understands the importance and power that a good story can have in someone’s life. He’s a writer, he knows this. So he has never batted an eye over my passion and connection with Mass Effect. He encourages it. He wasn’t surprised at all when I told him my theme for our wedding would be Mass Effect (and I, in turn, knew that he was going to choose Star Wars before he even told me). We get it. I tell him all the time that he’s my Garrus. “There’s no Shepard without Vakarian” is a phrase commonly heard in our household.

Mass Effect Wedding 09

Of course we had Mass Effect cosplayers at our wedding!

mass effect wedding 12

My Squad. <3

mass effect wedding 11

Me and my bestie Lee who is mostly to blame for this whole Mass Effect obsession. We are trying for our badass Shep faces here. **Trying.

Mass Effect Wedding 10

Garrus & Shep.

I’m so incredibly lucky that Mass Effect has impacted me so much and, in some ways, brought me together with the man I married. (I doubt I ever could have married someone who didn’t like Mass Effect.) He’s always 100% paragon and I’m always 100% renegade so we balance each other well. I’m so thankful to him and the many friends I have made because of this game. I love the Mass Effect/Bioware community. Thank you for giving me Shepard and a ship to call home (whether it’s the SR-1 or SR-2). This game, and these people, mean the galaxy to me.

mass effect wedding 06

Handfasting with our Xbox controllers.

Today, Bioware is releasing news about their upcoming Mass Effect Andromeda title that is coming out in early 2017. I have been beside myself with joy at the idea of going back into space and becoming a new N7 officer, with new friends, new enemies, and new places to explore. I am at a new place in my life, and I’m curious to see how this new game impacts the new journey I am on. I know it’s going to be a good one. Bioware has never let me down and I can’t wait to see what they have in store.

n7tattoo

Happy N7 Day everyone!

Best Present: Custom fem!Shepard Funko Pop!

So for the past few months, my fiance Jake and my sister Madi have been hinting that I would be getting the greatest Christmas present ever, but that it would just be late. I had absolutely no idea what it was. Well I finally got my present today and it was 100% worth the wait because it is the best present in the entire world. In the entire galaxy.

femshep01

I’ve always been very sad that there is no femShep funko so imagine my surprise when I opened my present and discovered MY VERY OWN CUSTOM COMMANDER SHEPARD FUNKO!! Isn’t she amazing? And they MADE her for me. They discovered that the head of the Rachel from Friends funko pop looked just like my Shepard so they took that head and put it on the maleShep’s funko body. And then painted on my renegade scars. She’s so perfect I could cry. I have such an amazing family.

femshep02

If you missed it, Commander Shepard is my personal hero so this is pretty much the best thing anyone could ever make me (the bar is now set really high). I still can’t get over how similar she looks to my personal Shepard. I don’t think they could have gotten her any better. My perfect Commander Audrey Shepard. ❤

My personal Shepard as drawn by the talented Cheyenne next to my in-game Shep.

My personal Shepard as drawn by the talented Cheyenne next to my in-game Shep.

I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite present on the Citadel. ❤

n701

I’ve been a fan of Bioware for years. I played KotOR in college and when I discovered Dragon Age: Origins around 2010 I was hooked. It quickly became my favorite game – I hadn’t had a game obsession like that since Kingdom Hearts in high school. It was everything I wanted in a video game – fighting, pretty outfits, making out with hot female assassins and men soon to be king, lots of blood, and some really cool concept art. I was convinced there’d never be another game like it.

In 2014, I went through some major life changes. I was still reeling from the end of a six year relationship, I was living alone for the first time ever (and for a short while, living out of my car), I had just lost my job of two years, and my life was in shambles. I started making bad choices and things were spiraling towards a not very good place for me. I had no idea how to pick up the pieces. It’s times like that when escapism comes in handy and my escape was into video games. My friends Lee and Meg were in the throes of a game called Mass Effect and since it was by the same people as Dragon Age, I figured I’d give it a shot. It took while to get into the first game, but with their constant support and reassurance that it was going to get better, I pushed through. By the end of the first game, I was a fan. I thought it was a good game. Not the best. But good enough that I was curious about the sequel.

n703

Mass Effect 2 changed everything. From the death of the Normandy SR-1 to the retrieval of one handsome Garrus Vakarian to defending and adopting Tali to making every renegade and paragon decision and making sure that every single member of the team made it through the suicide mission, the whole game was non-stop action and fun and I texted Meg and Lee throughout the entire thing. Their response? Wait till you play ME3.

I thought they had prepared me for how Mass Effect 3 would impact my life, but I was completely and utterly unprepared for the influx of feelings. The hard decisions. The devastation that followed even the best of them. The night I finished, Meg coaxed me through my tears and helped me accept that it was all over. I was a mess. It wasn’t until that very last day that I finally admitted that Mass Effect was better and more important to me than Dragon Age. But it was. Because of Shepard.

n702

Commander Shepard. Through everything that happened, she remained as steadfast and certain of her beliefs and her morals and her duty to humanity and every living life form. She refused to break. When she was shot, she got back up and kept fighting. She made the hard calls when she knew she’d get shit for it later. She backed up her friends through thick and thin and despite all the darkness she went through, her heart was still good. She was still herself. Still just as fiercely imperfect as anyone, but stronger for all that she’d seen and done. In the end, she always selflessly did the right thing. She was, and is, everything I strive to be. She became a beacon for me when I was lost, alone, and struggling to find my place in a world I had never really navigated on my own. She was a survivor in every sense of the word. And she was me. I was making those decisions. Everything she did was because it was what I would do. And in being Commander Shepard, I learned a lot about who I was. And who I had the potential to become. I saw myself for the first time as someone who was worth it. Worth living a better life for. And up until that point, I wasn’t making the best choices for myself. Commander Shepard was a turning point for me.

I know people will laugh. They’ll shrug it off. It’s just a game. It is. It’s just a game. But it’s also more than that. I became a better person because of this game. Because of Commander Shepard. Because of the writers at Bioware who understand human nature and the choices we are forced to make. The hard ones. Bioware changed my life for the better. I was a fan for a long time. But now I will always be a champion for them and the games they make.

To me, N7 Day is the perfect reminder of how far I’ve come in life. It’s reminder of who I want to be. Today is a day to celebrate the Commander Shepard in me. In all of us. I am a survivor and it reminds me to fight for the things I love. N7 Day means a better life, it means becoming closer to my friends, it means knowing that there’s more out there and that I should never stop reaching for my dreams. N7 means strength. It’s why I have it tattooed on my right wrist. So I can always see it and remember that I am strong. That I can get through anything life throws at me.

So thank you Bioware. For Mass Effect. For KotOR & SWTOR. For all the Dragon Age games. For characters like Liara and Iron Bull, Garrus and Sera, and so many more. Thank you for turning my life completely around when no one else could get through to me. Thank you for making me stronger. Thank you for making N7 Day a thing so that I have a day to celebrate that strength every year. But most of all, thank you for giving me Commander Shepard. You have no idea how much I needed her. Thank you.

Happy N7 Day everyone!

The latest news in the world of MMOs is that World of Warcraft is finally coming out with an expansion pack that looks worth while. I haven’t played WoW hardcore since college though I still play casually from time to time. However, I haven’t felt that obsession with the game in years and the debrief Blizzard did at Gamescom was the first time I felt a sense of hope for the game in a very long time. I excitedly tweeted about the whole thing on twitter but as soon as the hype died down, so did my interest. I’m sure once it gets closer I’ll get excited again. But while I’m not as excited about WoW as I want to be, it did do one thing for my gaming needs: I got bit by the MMO bug again and really wanted to get back into that world again.

swtor03

Fiance to the rescue! Jake had just downloaded Star Wars: The Old Republic and was playing it again and when he caught me looking with interest over his shoulder (a Star Wars MMO?!?! YES PLEASE), he dragged out his old PC, dusted it off, and set it up for me (I’m mostly a console gamer because my Mac doesn’t run games as well). After about 15 minutes of playing, I bought a subscription and I haven’t looked back. I love this game. It scratches all the MMO itches I’ve been feeling including my love of social games – a bunch of our friends are playing too so we’ve already put together a guild and have started running together. It feels like the old days of WoW where I can sign on and know that most likely there’s someone on to play with. I know I’m waaaaaaaaay late to this wagon, but it looks like I’ve jumped in at a good time since the new expansion is about to be released AND I hear that the game has gotten way better in the last year or so from where it had been. PLUS. It’s getting me even MORE hyped for the Force Awakens (YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA I’M SO EXCITED). I’ll have to write a full on Star Wars post later otherwise I’ll get terribly side-tracked.

swtor01

I’m currently playing a dark-sided Zabrak Trooper named Sh’ehpp (the female troopers are voiced by Jennifer Hale, Voice Actress and Goddess, so of course I named my trooper after my favorite Commander Shepard from Mass Effect), and a light-sided Twi’lek Smuggler named Oolaj’ikki – both of which are on The Shadowlands server if you’d like to join me in my SWTOR adventures. I’ll eventually be making a Sith character but since my entire Guild is a bunch of goodie-goodies, I’m on Republic side. For now…

swtor02

Honestly I should have known I would love this game. It’s Bioware. And I was a huge fan of Knights of the Old Republic back in the day. AND Mass Effect is my favorite game (I have an N7 tattoo on my wrist!) and Dragon Age was what got me back into gaming on a daily level. I’ll be writing a heartfelt thank you post to Bioware in the future too because they have done so much in my life and I am so grateful to them. For now though, thanks for getting me back into the world of MMOs and for giving me a new addiction in life. Because I needed another one in my life apparently. Y’all, come play SWTOR with me! If you love Star Wars and video games, this is definitely for you.